16

I had the most famazing 16th birthday! It was April 28th, 2009 and I was the most depressed I have ever been. You see I hate the day of my birth because its a mocking reminder that I am still alive. So, insted of cutting at school, i desided to write a letter. This letter contaned all the things wrong in my life. My mom lost her job (her being the only working person in the family) my older brother droped out of school (he was so close to the end of his senior year) I was alone (the people I hanged with wernt my friends. They were my sisters friends) and we are losing our house (stupid lawyer screwed us over). And to top the cake i wrote down that i was having a hard time trying to find a reason to stay alive. After i finnished the letter i wondered "What should i do with this?" So after considering a few things i came up with giving it to my councler at school (I was seeing her insted of a shrink). After school i came into her office and she told me that she couldnt let me leave to go home. That i was a danger to myself. I agreed with her. I was starting to scare myself. Cutting so much (the most cuts in one day was 17 on my wrist alone and 2 on my thigh) and the blood... it started to bleed so fast and so much i didnt know what to do. So i left with a police officer to the hospital. There, I waited a few hours until the social worker came and talked to me. I showed her the letter too. She understood that i was going through a lot of shit. That was when i was tooken to another hospital... but this one was diffrent. It was a mental hospital for the depressed. I didnt know what to do. I felt so out of place every where i went, like there was no room for me in this world. And it just magnefied when i was there. I was the only one who did a volinteer 50150 (a 72 hour watch) I was there for the 72 hours and i did not improve. I was solitued in a seat in the corner hugging my knees. I was told that i would have to stay longer. And I hated that.That was until HE showed up. He was so mistirious and my first impression of him was that he talked fast. When he finally introduced himself i was wondering who he was. His name, Michael and he was freshly turned 15. His birthday, April 26th. We had a war of questions. He asked one then i aked one and if we forgot whos turn it was, he said it was adimadicaly my turn. And I fell for him. He was smart, handson, had a good sence of humor, and quite romantic. The thing that got us talking was a teeshirt i was wearing. It had Cookie Monster on it and it said "Me want cookies". Aperently one of his friends had a Cookie Monster hat... but his friend died. Well we wernt supose to touch (we held hands 3 times and huged 3 times) and we wernt aloud to kiss (we kissed 3 times ;D). Then there was the Big Exit. You see the people there had their suspitions about us, so for shits and giggles he kissed me to conferm thoes suspitions. Curentle we see each other every once and a while and talk on the phone every day. He wants to marry me and have children and so do I. I think (and hope) were going to last for a long time. =D